On mothers - inspired by a dear friend's current trials with her daughter

On Mothers


You can deny it all you want, but the fact remains, we are forever attached to our mothers. There is a bond that simply cannot be severed.

Consider:

Two mere cells collide and begin to multiply, building upon each other and weaving about into the formation of another human being. The host – we call mother – experiences changes in her body and even emotions that she will only ever know during a particular pregnancy. Anything from severe mood swings to ungodly weight gain brought on by food cravings that are simply unexplainable. Swelling of legs, feet, ankles, ring fingers (how many wedding bands have had to be cut off?) face, breasts that double maybe even triple in size, and of course the ever-ballooning belly and hip area. She may experience queasiness or outright violent vomiting that mysteriously occurs around the same time each day or is brought on by the mere odors of cooking. And simply forget being able to notice that a shoe is untied!

How does the woman accept all of this? With love, hopes, dreams of what is yet to be. With a fierce determination to protect that which lies hidden within her, because she knows it is her responsibility to provide the best possible conditions for optimal growth.

There are times she is certain she can literally hear, perhaps even physically feel the extra heartbeat that now joins hers. And the baby grows and grows until it pushes all its mother’s organs out of its way. Kicking and pushing and demanding the room it needs, wants - already voicing its demands for space in her life. Screaming, “Make room for me, for my desires, my wants, my dreams, my life!” And how does the mother respond? She smiles down at her swollen abdomen, rubs it affectionately, and sends mental messages of calmness and love to the baby within. She is accepting and even welcoming of this intrusion on her life.

To mothers out there, you know the rest. The labor, the birthing, the feeding, bathing, nurturing, doctoring, educating – and all the while the child continues in her demands for space, still pushing and pulling in her strife to become who she is to be. And all the while blindly and vainly attempting to break the tie that will forever bind her to ----- her mother.

And how do we mothers respond? Ultimately, after the surprise, pain, outrage, and anger, we always somehow return to simple and unexplainable love. And that’s just being a mother - I suppose.